A cry out

God I know you are here. God I know you have this situation in your hands. God I know you love me. God you have greater plans for my life then I could ever imagine. I know this all but right now, I feel so confused and lost. I know you hear me crying out to you. I'm trying to find you and seek you, but this storm is too strong. 

I have so many wonderful people in my life, but at times I feel so lost. I have a wonderful life, I'm just in a rough patch, but again I feel so lost. I know your are making this into something "beautiful" but it's just so hard to see. 

This is my cry out. This is my I give it all to you God. This my I can't take it, but I know you are saying "Sam I know you can't take it, so give it to me". 

But why can't I? Because I am a control freak that wants to do it own my own. 

Take my life I lay it down

At the cross where I am found

All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean

Keep my heart in purity

That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

Take my moments and my days

Let each breath that I take

Be ever only for You oh God

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

My whole life is Yours

I give it all

Surrendered to Your Name

And forever I will pray

Have Your way

Have Your way

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

Identity as a child of God

What a week! Just spent my 9th week in Melbourne Austrilia in the state Victoria. November 2nd the whole DTS took of in a plane to here Todd White and Ben Firzgerald, and the wonderful Bethel team! An amzing week. 

First I would like to say that in no way shape or form will this blog give justice to what happend this week. I will share what really hit me, but even then it will be hard to know what I experienced in this past week. So as I return home set up a coffee time with me, so I can truely tell you how my whole view on anything was turned upside down, because... I love Coffee.... I love you..... Jesus loves you.... And if you didn't know..... I. Love. Jesus. 

The cross before 

The world behind me 

No turning back no turning back 

Chirst is enough for me 

     - I daily want these lyrics to wash over me, to know that Christ is enough for me, that I don't need the world, put that behind me. That I need the cross, put that infront of me. That I don't want to turn back! 

Sooooooo

Todd White is the man! Why? Because when he talks you can see in his eyes, that he loves Jesus. 

Tuesday was the first night he spoke to us, he shared his testimony. How he was a twisted, non follower, messed up dude, but how God came in and made it something beautiful. 

Todd was saved 10 years ago, one thing he spoke about was in the last 10 years he has felt no judgment from others or from himself, because he knows who is in Chirst, and that nobody can tell otherwise. That hit me so hard. When my identity is in God, why does it matter what I think of myself, or what others think, when all that should matter is what God thinks of me? 

~ Todd White 

Ben! He is the man too! He is so on fire for Jesus! 

As well as Todd, he talked about his identity in God and that, that's all that matters. When we know that we are loved by God, that's when we can spread the love to all of Gods children. It all comes down to love. It's not ALL about, healing them, or saving them, because we can't heal them, we can't save them..... But Jesus can. So when we show them love, that's when Jesus creeps in. If they get heald or saved, Glory to God, but I have to remeber that it wasn't me, it was Jesus who made a home inside of me, so that I can do his works, and it all comes down to love. 

-Ben 

Uncomfortable time...

This week was a somewhat of a uncomfortable week, but God made it into the most beautiful thing. 

I have never experienced people speaking in tounges, and people rolling on the ground laughing during worship, until this week....

On Wednesday I was 20 minutes late into worship because I has dinner clean up, and I was very upset, I love worship, and I didn't want to be late and miss most of it, but is what it is. So I walked into the room, and it's packed. I am all the way in the back, some giants are infront of me, I can't see the screen of words, so I have to turn my head back to see the words on the back screen, and there are people behind me just having a conversation.... So if you can't tell I am upset, and irritated that I can't even get focused to worship..... 

Just as the girl leading worship starts to talk, one of the giants moves and I can finally see.... She says that if you want the holy spirt to fill you up, you need to come up front because that's where it's at.... Oo but I can't make it upfront, it's to packed.... So I am still pretty irritated. 

Then things get weird. People are laying on the ground laughing, and in that moment God turned and uncomfortable situation into the most beautiful situation, because, I don't even know I can't explain....

It's was crazy because normally I get really uncomfortable. It is just hard to explain. I think the main reason I saw it through Gods eyes was because He was there, his presence was totally in the room. I also just got hit, that we can worship in anyway, and that we shouldn't judge how others worship, because their worship shouldn't define how you worship....... But sometimes it does for me atlest. When distractions come up in worship, I just turn off, and I turn on my "judging", I get distracted in what other are doing. And. That. Should. Not. Matter. It's so hard for me sometimes, I mean it's all about you worshiping. 

-I remeber before any worship night Jon would say, it doesn't mater if 1 kid comes or 100, because the number of people in the room, should not define how you respond in worship. 

So anyway, I didn't end up lying on the floor laughing, which was ok with me, but I did see God children worshiping him, and that filled me with so much joy, that I wasn't distracted anymore, I was on focus with Jesus. 

I am child of God, and I am loved by God. That's all I need to know...

My passions

Week 5! Identity! Identity! Identity! 

  - We just ended week 5! First off, it's flying by! I leave for Melborne November 2. Then off to Figi November 22! Literally coming up so fast.... I should be a pro at flying after all this! So anyway back to the topic... Identity and passions! 

Our speaker the wonderful Hannah, had us think about what our passions are, then to ask God why we have been given those passions. My first passion is... Drum roll.... MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS! I love them, and I have no clue why... So I asked God, like dude why do you give me this passion, and He gave me two major impacts that have made me love middle school students more then ever, and made me have such a passion for them! 

After responding and listing to what God had been speaking to us, we got in a circle and we went around and shared. So it went something like this.... 

"My passion is for middle school students, and I have no clue why because they smell and are so strange, so literally while I was sitting over there I asked God why did you give me this as a passion because, I never was a leader in middle school, I was totally a follower, like what happend the beginning of my sophomore year that made me go like Hey be a middle school leader, and I still don't know. I still sit and say to my self why do I love them so much, so God why is it? He reminded me of the time I helped a kid pray for Christ to come into hes life, a kid who never even wanted me to say Hi how are you doing. 

The second, was very recent, actually the day before I left. I just started over and amending 6th graders! Woo hoo! I barley know most of them, I have only known them for 2 months. As we enter into small group that night, literally they are all sitting on the brown bean bags.... Bawling their eyes out! Crying and crying and sniffing and crying and crying! So I call my co leader Grace and the girls in her group over. Long story somewhat short, we are like we need to do something so as the great leaders we are! :) We lead them down the stairwell in the pitch black, to a creepy closet, and pray. Each one praying, and what impacted me the most was one girl... Emma. Emma every time before that when we would pray would pray... The lords supper. Mmm food! But in that moment in a creepy closet pitch black, she prayed a prayer of just talking to her Heavenly Father that loves her, but I couldn't help but smile, in a creepy closet in the pitch black. Every week I would remind her Emma it's just talking to someone, and to see that in 3 weeks I had made an impact on her prayer life had me at aw. With being reminded of these two things, (but there are many many many other stories that have impacted me) I am reminded that yes I am making an impact on their life, but they are making a greater impact on mine. To see them on fire for Jesus and hungry for more makes me so happy! I love them! 

My other passion is COFFEE! Not sure tho what is in store for the passion.... Still praying for that one! 

 

 

    

 

My first batch of girls that I made from, On point, Indianola hillbillies unite, YEEEE. Stay tight. WATERMELONEE. Chingity Chongity! (If you are like what the heck, it's inside jokes) 

--These group of girls have made such and impact on my life, in the past 3 years of leading them, they have grown closer to God, and are understanding who He is and who they are in him. I am happy to call them my friends and sisters in Christ! 

--The great 6th grade girls! Woo hoo, they rock! I can already see the passion they have to see who God is. I can already see them finding out who they are and realizing that hey, I can be my self, I can be the girl that God has made me to be! I am so stocked to get back and hear all about whats been going on the last 5 months and just to build relationships with them! 

 

--Then my passion for coffee! 

The father heart of God

End of the 4th week... Check mark

BEST WEEK BY FAR. 

I am not even sure if I can write, how I feel about this week in a blog, it was just that crazy, just that awesome. 

So go back to that Friday before this week, our awesome, amazing speakers Rich and Lynn had us make these mas, then we had to decorate them, I literally have no craftiness in me, so I was putting random stuff all over it. My mask had jewled eye brows, the word beautful from a magazine on the lips, a cupcake (I have no clue why because I HATE cupcakes) and a flower. Just random stuff no reason, or so I thought..... What they had us do on Tuesday was crazy awesome, and way outside my comfort zone. 

We split into smaller groups and each and every single on of us say on a chair, showed out mask, and waited. Waited to hear what God was speaking to the others. How they would look at our masks that we made random and tell us something awesome, is still blowing my mind. I got things like... "You are beautiful and what you say is beautful and that you shouldn't hide what you want to say, that you should be more confident" or "The flower shows how delicate you are" Just crazy awesome stuff like that. 

So we did that most of the week, then on Friday... We talked more about the Father Heart Of God, and how we shouldn't abide by the lies of this world, on who we are, so then Rich had us ask God what our new name was, how we arnt what people say we are or what we think. So we went and prayed, then got in a huge circle and 6 volunteers went up first and shared their new name, shared why that's their new name. Then we prayed for them individual going around putting a hand on their back, telling them we are here for you, and let me pray for you. Then it's was gift giving time! Rich had asked us to think of a gift or a couple to give on Friday., but he didn't really tell us what for he just said pray about it and bring it. 

Each and every single on of us went up and shared our name and was prayed for then we received gifts. So stuff given was 

Money 

Skatebkred 

Ukulele 

Jewelry 

Every single one had a meaning and some how became encouraging to that person, and had a great impact 

..... So I would like to share mine 

The new name I gave my self was... or God gave me was... Sam the confident one.... I can be very shy and sometimes have a hard time talking to people, and being here in a new place with new people it has been hard to feel like my self, so after I said that and everyone in my group did, everyone prayed, people would walk around pray for you and, pray for the others... It was awesome. 

Then it was gift giving time,

The first thing I got was a.... braclet 

The second thing I got was a.... guitar

The third thing I got was a... Cross

Necklace

I can't remeber what each person said exactly, because it was so overwhelming  but it was along the lines of "I want you to have this to feel more confident in yourself, to know that you do have a voice" 

It was just so overwhelming but so awesome.

This blog does NOT do justice on how I really felt and, it might be a little choppy to read because I am still like holy cow! This past week was just about the Father Heart Of God, and how we are his children and we should be who God has made us to be, that I am Sam the confident one! 

So I hope you liked it! It might be was easier to share this in person, but what eva, it was still good right? 

Blog you later alligator... 

Week 4

I am starting my 4th week here in Australia! Like what? September is almost over, then It's October! Like what? Crazy how fast this is going! 

Been pretty busy here. At first I was like holy cow so much free time, what am I gonna do with myself..... We do have free time, but we are kept pretty busy too. 

A normal day for us is leaving our houses at 7:30 to head to the base, we have worship, interseion, lectures, TEA TIME (more like coffee time for me) finishing lectures, lunch, free time, dinner, free time. Through out the week there is odd stuff thy get put in there like, small groups, night lectures, BBQS. On Fridays we have outreach prep group from 3- dinner. We have only had one so far and it's pretty legit. Actually it's 2 legit 2 quit.... It's just a fun time to hang out with your group, and learn more about what we will be doing. 

 

My house is AWESOME, I love all the girls in my house and the staff in my house. Our houses are not on the base, we have 2 girl houses and 1 guys house. Personally I think our house is the best. Our house has 11 girls, we have 2 floors and 2 bathrooms!! We also have a pretty nice pool in the back yard! My roomate is fabulous, and her name is Fabi. She is from Switzerland and is halrious at night. 

So this is a legit school here, like when I said we graduate I thought it was just like "Hey you fished congrulations" nope we legitly graduate and can go to School Of The Nations after we graduate, it's pretty sweet!  

This was a very random blog post about what's been going on down here, so thanks for reading, I'll have some better ones soon.... I hope. 

Hello from down under!

I'm the realest....for real doe....
Sorry this has taken so long to write. I don't have a lot of time with WiFi, which isn't bad, but I try to limit the time I do have WiFi to calling my family because I miss them! So, this blog might be long but it will be good.
First and most importantly I am having a wonderful time. It's beautiful here.
I thought I would share some stuff that I'm struggling with so far being here.
One...I am homesick. It's getting better but it's still hard. I'm not just homesick for my family, I am homesick for everything. I miss my family, I miss my church, I miss the people in my church. I miss my friends. I am just homesick. I do know this, everyone back home is being so supportive and that helps....A LOT! I know I need to be here and they know I need to be here. In this time I turn to God and say: "God you have me, you never left me. You had me back home, you have me here and you will always have me anywhere and will be right by my me helping in the struggles I am going through.
Two...I am having a really bad time with countdowns. As I write this I have 132 days till I leave and when I post this it will be sooner. Or, I have about 6 more times to do dinner clean-up. 9 more Sunday services I can attend. 68 more days till I leave for outreach. Stuff like that. And that's not always bad. But, instead I am trying to say, "Sam, you only have 6 more times to do dinner clean-up with your crew before you leave." "Dude, you only have 68 more days to live with the girls you live with." "9, only 9 more times I can go to Good Life Church before I go home. So, I'm trying to turn it around and see that instead of being completely happy about getting to see everyone back home and tell everyone about my amazing trip, I need to take the time to connect with the people here. Because people back home will still be the same people. Maybe their looks will be different, but they will still be the same people that loved me and was supportive of me when you left and they will still be that way when I get back.
Before I left a lot of people kept saying when I get back I can turn right back around and staff a DTS school or missions sight. As I prayed and spent more time with God this last week I have realized right now, that's not for me. My heart and passion is middle school students. I love them so much. I don't feel God is telling me to staff here or anywhere in the world. I feel Him telling me to go home and affect the lives of middle schoolers in a greater impact. So, when I get back in January that's what I will be focusing more on. I was to get more involved with my church and help way more with student ministry in different ways. I just can't contain the love I have for middle school students! I miss seeing them! Today at a church service I learned a new word to call them....Youthies. So, I miss the Youthies.
Some fun things I've heard or learned here in Aussie....
A quote from Fluer, one of the staff members here: "When someone is scared of turbulence...Oh don't worry....we are just saving the birds." Another fun quote: "I only pray for the food I like."
A crazy law here...you can stick any body part of of your window except your arm. You will get ticketed. Even if it's a little bit.
Oooooo.....the coffee I had today was the sweetas....
That's it for now. Blog you later.

'Cause if you never leave home, never let go You'll never make it to the great unknown

First things first I'm the..... realest.

For real doe, First. I have not got on this blog in such a long time that I forgot the password and spent the last 10 min resting it. SO here is an update on YWAM

In 8 days I will be out of the country! 

I am pretty sure I am at least half way with fundraising, 1st payment is DONE! Now I just have to raise the rest for the second plane ticket to the unknown country, and then the rest of the tuition fees.

 Fundraising has been an adventure, but with Gofundme, 3 garage sales, and donations, it is going well. Want to make a big, huge Thank You! to everyone that has donated. 

As I get ready to leave for 5 months I still need......

Prayers and Donations. 

I know God will provide and I am ready to start this adventure for 5 months! Even tho some people are not  *coughcough my youth group girls that almost start crying every time I see them. 

Don't worry I will be back January 24 to be exact with stories to tell, and maybe an accent.

Again I will try my very best to update this while I am gone! 

 

http://www.gofundme.com/SammiYWAMWaves2014